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It's A Hard-Knock Summer

The girls are getting excited about our upcoming trip to New York; we’ve bought tickets to one show and they’ve watched the TONY Awards and seen clips of all the kid-friendly shows out there right now. In Maddie’s words, she can’t wait to see some “real theatre”.

They spent an hour last night working on “It’s A Hard-Knock Life” for a small upcoming performance (tickets go on sale soon!). With lyric sheets in hand, they divided up parts, discussed characterization, worked through props, and sang through it several times. Apparently they’re going to add costumes and staging today and perform it for anyone they can pin down.

Whose idea was it to let them watch the new The Making of ANNIE documentary yesterday?

Our Daughters Hear Us. They Really Do.

This article’s been going around the internet, and I’m sure most of you have read it, so I almost didn’t post it here thinking it’s overkill.

But it’s also incredibly important, so I’m posting it anyway.

The article is When Your Mother Says She’s Fat and you can imagine the content. The truth is that the disparaging remarks we make about ourselves every day absolutely shape how our daughters see us – and themselves.

Life At Horse Camp

Maddie’s spending the week at her riding stables in a five-day horseback riding camp. It’s all-day, every day, and it’s exhausting. 8 to 5 would wear out any third grader; add to that the fact that she’s in Texas heat, un-airconditioned, working and sweating outdoors the whole time, and you’ve got one worn out child by the end of the day.

She’s never been happier.

She gets a couple full lessons each day, of course, but she doesn’t spend every minute horseback: she grooms the animals, feeds and waters them, cleans their stalls, and so forth.

And then there’s the rest of the time, which is where I think the real lessons are.

Making Every Day A "Yes" Day

A friend of mine has a chronic illness. What, exactly, isn’t important. But think Lyme disease, except the lows are much lower. So sometimes she’s on top of the world, and sometimes she’s literally crippled and out of commission for several days. Her life is incredibly inconstant and hard to predict, and has been so for a couple of years. And I’ve learned a lot about grace and a sense of humor and humility from watching her battle this thing.

The past couple of years have been incredibly hard on her child, of course, and living in constant uncertainty – Is Mommy having a Good Day, or a Bad Day? – has taken its toll on the girl. But it’s also shaping the child into what I think will be a very strong, unshakeable adult who knows that Something Bad happening is not the end of the world.

She Came, She Saw, She Kicked Its Duck-Launching Butt

Yes, there’s no surprise endings with a title like that, eh?

Friday morning Maddie was apprehensive about heading to Invention Camp – still nervous about her group’s duck launcher not working – but was trying hard to be strong in her decision not to forfeit. When I dropped her off, I pulled the counselor aside and said, “Listen, if the duck-launching thing doesn’t go well and Maddie asks to go to the bathroom, can you please let her go? Quickly?” and filled her in on the rest. The girl was sympathetic and promised to not give Maddie any grief should tears overtake her.

Throughout the day I sent up a quick prayer for my daughter – not that she’d win, or even score a point, with her invention – just that she’d have the courage to try it, and the strength to face the results. By the time I went to pick her up for the parental showcase and dismissal, I was a nervous wreck.

Teaching My Daughter To Fail

Last night I lay snuggling with Maddie as we do every night, talking through the day behind us and looking forward to the one to come. Maddie’s been in Invention Camp all week, and today is the culmination of all their hard work, getting to test inventions they’ve been working on all week, and showing off their projects to enthusiastic parents.

“So are you happy camp is almost over, or sad?” I asked.

“Well, mostly sad, but also a lot stressed about tomorrow,” Maddie said, surprising me.

“Why are you stressed about it?” I asked, and Maddie gave a huge sigh, and spilled it all.

Raising Girls to be Women

Maddie’s eight now, and we’ve long seen some Serious Talks coming down our pike at this house. It’s commonly touted that girls mature faster than they did when I was growing up, for a variety of reasons.

I’m not trying to discuss the theories behind “why” – growth hormones in dairy products, over-explicit and age-inappropriate media exposure, there’s quite a list of common theories out there. But I am hearing so much of the “fourteen is the new eighteen”, and “nine is the new twelve”, and I can’t deny that I’m now within shouting distance of age nine.

So I do what I always do in situations like this – I start reading.