1m2aSandbox

We’ve made it: Cora turned one. All
around us, friends are reminding us she’s finally a toddler.
We are officially a baby-free household now, filled only with
toddlers and tired parents. Now I can say, “As a mommy of two
toddlers . . .” or maybe, “I’ve got two toddlers
at home, and let me tell you . . .”


Because isn’t parenthood all about bragging rights? Even if
it’s simply bragging about how exhausted you are?

We’ve had almost a week of sullen
grey skies here in Texas, with air so thick you could almost roll
up in it like a soggy sleeping bag from camp days. Every day the
cloudy and overcast skies bluster threateningly, with nothing
coming from it by the end of the day but more mosquitos and the
feeling you’re in some kind of languid Tennessee Williams
play, so droopy and filled with ennui are you.


Which is why, when I left home this morning for a play date a few
blocks away, I didn’t bring an umbrella.

As part of my mommy guilt for raising Cora
in her sister’s shadow, I worry that Cora won’t grow up
loving books as much as Maddie does because I simply haven’t
has as much time to read to her as I did to Maddie.


Brian began reading two books a night to Maddie while she was still
in my tummy. When I was only taking care of one kid at a time, I
had hours to snuggle on the couch reading kids’ books with
Madeleine, so she was in love with picture books from the newborn
stage on. As I tried to wean Maddie naturally, I began reading to
her while she nursed for nap or bedtime, eventually reading instead
of nursing, with the result being that Maddie reads several books a
day and considers her book time a vital part of her evening and nap
routine. When Cora was born, we kept a basket of new books next to
my nursing chair, and Maddie would settle into her own stuffed
chair and listen to me read while I nursed. Even now, if I need to
close the door and put Cora to sleep, I’ll come out ten
minutes later to see Maddie has climbed up on the couch, pulled a
throw around herself, and is happily browsing through her favorite
books.

Warning: This article is all about poop.


So Maddie’s been constipated for about two weeks now.


Figured out the title yet?


Right around the time we went strawberry picking, we spent several
days out-of-doors for extended periods of time, in ninety-degree
heat. We all got a bit dehydrated, and pooping got a little, um,
harder.

For the past few months I’ve been
getting rather more frequent migraines- hence the sporadic missed
blogs here – and since I am after all a mother, I immediately
assumed I had a tumor and my children would grow up motherless.


Sure, I made an appointment to get my eyes checked, but it was just
a formality. The spontaneous vertigo, the motion sickness for no
apparent reason, the piercing headaches I haven’t had for
several years now – what else could it be?


Apparently, it’s my vision.

First birthdays are funny things. In some
cultures, it’s a huge party, a celebration of reaching a
milestone in an uncertain world. Other people throw lavish parties
to show their status; they’re saying, “Sure my
kid’s too young to appreciate that I’ve hired the Three
Tenors to sing at her birthday party. But it’s not really
about her anyway.”


As for me, I figure, the kid’s never going to remember it, so
let’s call a spade a spade and have a nice party to celebrate
with all our friends. Plenty of time for tots and goody bags
on subsequent birthdays, after all, and as long as Cora gets her
gifts and has a nice, relaxed day (with all the requisite photos to
prove it) then we’re all winners.


So for Cora’s birthday we went to the Arboretum for a nice
picnic lunch. Cora adores the arboretum, since it combines two of
her favorite things: nature, and the opportunity to literally
deflower nature. Yes, my kid loves to run up to a lovely bed of
impatiens and begin ripping away. Good times.

Dear Cora:


I’m having a hard time believing it’s been over a year
already since I last wrote you a letter; that letter I wrote before
you were born has been safely tucked inside your baby book for
almost thirteen months now, and at the risk of sounding like a
cliché, where has the time all gone?


On the other hand, I look back over your first year of life and
can’t believe it’s been ONLY a year. Job loss,
unemployment, selling a house, leaving New York, buying a house in
Texas: how can all of this happen in just a short twelve months? I
feel as if you’ve been with us forever, even as I still
continue to struggle to find my groove with you. Your Nana said at
your birthday party, “I bet you can’t imagine life
without her now, can you?” And I replied, “Well, I
actually can – and it involves a lot more sleep!”


Yes, my darling girl, if I have one complaint about you, it’s
the whole sleep thing. What’s the deal, kiddo?! You still
wake up whimpering a few times a night, and your attitude towards
naptime is way too insouciant. Can we work on that please?
I’d love to look back on this letter next year and say in
disbelief, “Cora wasn’t a good sleeper? I’d
totally forgotten that! She sleeps thirteen hours in a row
now!” I think it’s partly the separation anxiety
– you’ve got that thing down pat, and practice it
endlessly lest you lose your touch with it. So can we work on that,
too?


And thus endeth my complaint list. Now for the plus side: