1m2aSandbox

As I’ve mentioned several times before, Maddie has a lovey that works really well for her – Silky. She goes through cycles of need: sometimes she only needs it for sleep time, and sometimes she’ll request it several times throughout the day as she gets sleepy, cuddly, or scared. Currently she’s going through a Silky intensive, and will ask for it at church or after a big play date. We’re so grateful for the thing that right now we don’t care if she’s still carrying it when she delivers her first State of the Union address. In fact, we’re planning on getting one for peanut to use later on, and see if it works as well for her as it does for her big sister.

Maddie’s been preparing for the big sister role- bossiness and mothering come easily to her (don’t know where she gets that . . .) and, while I’m sure it’s a developmental phase every tot goes through, she’s intensely interested in imitating Mommy. She loves diapering any stuffed animal she can get her hands on (Kitty wouldn’t hold still, much to her chagrin), cooking for her dolls in her kitchen, placing them in her toy high chair and “feeding” them, putting the dolls to bed in her toy crib, and so on.

For the first time since Maddie’s been born, Brian and I spent the evening out together last night – from late afternoon until well after she went to bed. Though Gamma’s done a dry run putting Maddie to bed while we were hiding in the basement, this was the first time we’ve both been absent for such a long period. Giddy with freedom, we went to hear a romantic little talk on such topics as camelback contractions and episiotomies.

Yep, it’s time for that labor refresher course.

A few days ago, Maddie had her first encounter with a bona fide bully and I’m still seeing the effects of it.

We were playing happily on the park equipment, getting ready to head home and call it a day, when Maddie climbed the stairs and decided to hit the slide one last time. Since I had followed her up, I wasn’t in my customary position at the bottom of the slide, waiting to catch her. She took off down the slide but got stuck at the very bottom, and in her winter coat was struggling to sit up and get all the way off. At that point, an older girl – three or four years old – ran to the top of the slide and sat down. I told her my daughter was still on the slide, but she smirked at me, rolled on to her stomach, and went quickly down, kicking Maddie in the head with both feet and shoving her off the slide.

Towards the end of my first pregnancy, I had a hard time drinking enough water to satisfy my OB.  When I was sent for a 28-week ultrasound because of a lack of growth (though I sure felt bigger!), it was discovered I was low on amniotic fluid.  Every visit after that, my doctor did a “slosh check” and would pronounce me “doing well” or “a quart low”.  By the end I was drinking 4 liters a day and still barely keeping Maddie in liquid.

I realize that staying properly hydrated is incredibly important for a pregnant woman; getting enough liquid helps everything from swollen ankles to weird cravings, since oftentimes we’re not actually hungry, but thirsty.  But by the third or fourth liter of the day, I was truly hating the taste of water.  I had a deep desire for root beer, cranberry juice – anything to make the liquid more exiting.

After a couple weeks of bad weather and illness, we finally found ourselves back into our normal routine on Thursday, and I have to say everyone’s much happier for it.

We’re not schedule freaks; we don’t have Maddie’s day broken down into “7:30 a.m.: wake up. 8 a.m.: color while waiting for breakfast. 8:15: breakfast.” And believe me, I know people that do that. But we do have a certain routine that we’ve worked hard to cultivate. It provides flexibility for errands or fun days like the zoo, but gives Maddie a sense of what comes next – a sort of comfort in knowing what lies ahead. In broad strokes, breakfast is followed by time Outside – church, the playground, a play date, the zoo, whatever. Then there’s lunch, naptime, playtime at home or running errands, dinner, and so on. The routine is flexible enough that we can imitate it even when we’re not at home – if we’re on vacation, for example, we’ll hit the beach or pool in the late morning during Outside time and stick to her usual order for lunch etc. Giving her built in “retreat” time every day – naptime at home rather than on the run, followed by quiet playtime at home – helps her cope with different people and situations coming in and out of her life.

From the beginning of this second pregnancy, Brian and I had one eye on the finish line and what it would mean to Maddie. Going from being the only child in the center of several adults’ attention to sharing the spotlight with the younger, cuter model would be hard on her, we knew. And since I’m largely a stay-at-home mom she’s pretty used to getting a lot of quality time with me; sharing will be difficult at times, to say the least.

Which is why we have been looking at the nine months in a big arc, planning what it will take to make the transition as smooth and painless for her as possible. I am incredibly fortunate (in case I haven’t mentioned it this week) to have my mom living a few blocks away, and more than willing to pitch in with Maddie, so we knew Mom was the logical alternate caregiver for Maddie to get attached to. Over the last few months Mom’s tried out more and more delicate responsibilities with Maddie: long stretches of daytime by herself, putting her down for naps, handling meals, and finally last night the big one: bedtime.

On March 13, someone stood up and gave me their seat on the subway for the first time this pregnancy.

I was 30 weeks pregnant at the time.

The person who offered me their seat was a woman.

This offer has yet to be repeated.