Ok, I’m going to tell the truth here, and if I get angry emails in response, so be it.
A girlfriend who doesn’t have children asked me today at church what has surprised me most about motherhood. I thought for a moment, and answered honestly, “How much work it would be to love her sometimes. Love is an active verb here, something I do, rather than a noun, something that exists on its own. I didn’t know how hard it can be to continue loving someone and giving endlessly of yourself when she gives nothing in return. She doesn’t smile at me, she doesn’t say, ‘Thanks, mom’, she doesn’t slip a greeting card shyly under my pillow. She simply rolls over and goes back to sleep. And when you come to her in the middle of the night and she’s crying, she doesn’t see you and suddenly stop crying, remembering that you’ve done this before and trusting that food is on the way. No, she keeps screaming until food is in her mouth. And she couldn't care less who’s giving it to her. Unrequited love is tough to maintain.
I don’t think that was the answer she was expecting, but it’s the one I’ve got.
