1m2aSandbox

Sometimes, you go through a hard emotional growth spurt with your kids. You have days when they seem to jump from disobedient act to intentional meanness to flagrant testing with nary a pause in between, and if you’re like me you’re driven to your knees several times a day, begging for patience and wisdom.

I’ve been through a lot of that with Maddie this fall. Even starting in the summer, her ego-centricity was breathtaking. Cutting in front of kids waiting patiently in line – not even noticing the other kids, really. Ripping Cora to shreds with a few careless words about the quality of work in a painting Cora just finished. Fighting vehemently with her sister for a toy she didn’t even really want – she just didn’t want her sister to have it.

I’ve been praying hard for Maddie, knowing that there are some things that are simply Not My Job, and changing my child’s heart is one of them. I’ve tried to be patient, trusting God that His seeds will take root and bloom in that sweet girl’s heart.

And recently, I’ve seen signs of new growth.

Friday night the family had a hurry of clean-up before bedtime. I’d been slacking on it all week since I’d been sick, but Friday night I told the girls everything had to be picked up. “But can’t we leave out a couple games, Mommy?” Maddie asked.

“No, kiddo, tomorrow we’re having people over for dinner and I don’t want to have to clean up the house on my birthday. Fair?” I asked, and Maddie reluctantly nodded.

That night I lay in bed with Cora saying prayers, and I was going through our usual blessings when Cora said, “Oh, I’ve got something to add!” I turned it over to her.

Sunday night Maddie woke up at 3 a.m. with a fever; I loved on her, told her she couldn’t go to school the next day, and sent her back to sleep. She spent all Monday with no fever and just slight stuffiness, but at bedtime the fever showed back up. Sigh.

Home from school again on Tuesday, and I have to tell you, I’m pretty sure this thing is allergies. I’ve taken Cora to the doctor before for exactly the same symptoms – low to moderate fever, sore throat, slight stuffiness – and she guaranteed me it was allergies. Apparently in addition to causing EVERY OTHER SYMPTOM in the book, allergies can also run a low fever. Which, of course, is not contagious.

But without knowing for certain that it’s allergies, Maddie has to stay home until she’s fever-free. Which means I have one very bored kiddo around the house.

Yesterday I went to Cora’s school as a volunteer art lecturer. No, I’m not that good; it’s part of a district-wide program called Art To Go, where everything’s put together for you – pictures on foam board, questions pre-written, everything – and all you do is show up and look really really cultured. I’ve done this for Maddie’s classes in the past and was looking forward to sitting down and talking about art with Cora’s class for the first time.

Note to self – don’t ask kindergarteners such open-ended questions, and then LET THEM ANSWER THEM.

Maddie discovered Junie B. Jones in kindergarten and we spent a few painful months reading waaaaaaaay too much of that child’s escapades before Maddie finally grew out of the books and moved on to other, more well-written heroines. I was quite pleased to bid Junie B. adieu, and only saved the half-dozen books we’d bought out of sheer thriftiness.

I should have realized I wasn’t finished with the annoying child.

When I was around five years old I was living in New Orleans, happily playing outside one day. Suddenly I noticed a ticklish feeling on my ankle and leg, and looked down and saw a swarm of red fire ants enrobing my lower limb. I stared in fascination, until the pain registered. And then I started screaming.

I remember that day vividly.

When we moved back to Texas four years ago, I celebrated a return to many of my favorite things in the South – excellent margaritas, even better Tex-Mex food, and winters without shoveling the sidewalk. What I did not look forward to, though, was the return to southern bugs, especially chiggers and fire ants.

Monday was a day off school to celebrate Columbus Day and after the whirlwind of the weekend – a women’s retreat for me, birthday parties with school mates, and more – I felt like we deeply needed some unstructured down time together. Time to veg and hang out and play and bake and watch movies.

In other words, a Pajama Day.

I love the changing of the seasons. It doesn’t even really matter which change we’re talking about – I love them all. Every winter I feel a yearning for hanging out on the grass on a warm spring day, watching trees bud and listening to birds sing. Then after a few months of that, I become restless and develop a yen for sunscreen and lazy pool time – those endless days that seem to stretch on forever, when your kids scream and play for hours and you laugh and chat desultorily with your girlfriends.

And then I have a hankering for the fall.

A few days ago, Maddie’s class had a competition to give themselves a name – you know, the All-Stars or Cougars or Champions or whatever. Her teacher, Mrs. Hall, stopped me at pick-up that afternoon and said, “Ask your daughter what name she suggested for my class.”

A little while later, I brought it up and said, “So what name did you come up with, Maddie?”

Said yesterday morning while getting ready for school:

Cora: “Mommy, can I ride my scooter to school this morning?”

Me: “Of course!”

Cora: “Yippee!”

Me: “Why are you so excited about riding your scooter to school?”

Cora: “Because I really love the sound of my shoe softly tapping the pavement when I push.”

And she ran off.

This fall Maddie made the decision to quit ballet; her level was stepping up to classes twice a week and she simply wasn’t ready for the commitment. And while I understood it, the retired dancer in me was crushed; I know how much I loved dance my whole life and want Maddie to know that joy. But we also want Maddie to find what she loves, so we step back and give her some space to make her own choices.

Horseback riding is something Maddie’s enjoyed for a while; she’s been on a couple trail rides and always loved it. So as I cast about for something to let my introverted, nature-loving, animal lover to try, I instinctively thought horseback riding would be a good fit.

Believe me, we know it can get expensive and it’s not without risk, so Brian and I talked about it a lot. But I felt in my gut it’d be great for Maddie – almost therapy sometimes. So we bought a six-class session and gave it a whirl.

And it’s a match made in equine heaven.